


Love Love Love

by TheNameIsZ (curiouslygray)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Kara and Lena need to figure out their relationship, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 14:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouslygray/pseuds/TheNameIsZ
Summary: Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart awayYeah, maybe I'm a crook for not caring for itYeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad personWell, baby, I knowAnd these fingertipsWill never run through your skinAnd those bright blue eyesCan only meet mine across the room filled with people that are less important than you"Love Love Love" - Of Monsters and Men





	Love Love Love

**Author's Note:**

> Story inspired by "Love Love Love" by Of Monsters and Men. I was originally going to have the lyrics worked into the story but it didn't flow well, so I just removed them.
> 
> Enjoy.

The room was filled with the murmur of voices, soft music, and the clinking of glasses. L Corp was hosting an event to raise money for women’s shelters in National City. Lena stood off to the side, sipping away at her second glass of champagne. The event was going smoothly, money being raised slightly faster than the company had anticipated. Lena was pleased with the turn out, even it meant she had to make a great deal of small talk.

She had gotten a few minutes to herself before being pulled away by a representative of one of the shelters. A photographer approached them and asked for their picture, for which they agreed. The process was repeated several times before Lena saw her.

Her breath caught in her throat, eyes stuck on the emerald gown, hair pinned back with loose curls, and the bright smile. Kara was talking with some other CatCo representatives, Alex standing just behind her shoulder, the hard stare Lena received confirmed that Alex had already spotted her. The slight upward tilt of Alex’s chin was the only acknowledgement she gave in response to Lena’s brief, tight nod that she gave her before Sam appeared at Alex’s side, distracting her.

Lena understood Alex’s cold shoulder to her; Kara and Lena were in a bit of a rough patch. They weren’t officially dating in any sense, but they may as well have been. Kara constantly brought Lena lunch, especially when Jess would casually text her that it was three in the afternoon and Lena  _ still _ hadn’t touched the salad she’d brought her several hours before. Plus, they always teamed up on game nights, had near annual movie nights, and basically did double dates with Alex and Sam (even if those often ended with Kara fake gagging and Lena rolling her eyes at their cutesy interactions).

An argument the previous week had left things uncomfortable between the two.

Kara had confronted her about the situation, and in pure Lena fashion, she completely clammed up about her feelings, packing them away to never be opened. Lena had argued that their lives were too hectic and busy and dangerous for them to date. Them being together would just be a risk for Kara and her identity when she’s not National City’s caped crusader. Kara had made excellent points to counter her, saying that very little about their current situation would change and that by being a reporter (and the one with the main connection Supergirl) already forced her more into that limelight. Kara had left Lena’s apartment after realizing that she wouldn’t change her mind. She had stood in the door and told Lena that if she changed her mind, “well, you know where to find me.”

Now they had this weird air between them. Can you really break up if you were never officially dating in the first place? Lena had been asking herself that question for days and, despite many several hours spent thinking (and occasionally talking aloud… and maybe a few Google searches that Lena  _ definitely _ immediately deleted from her search history),  she could not come to a solid conclusion. Deep down, Lena knew that her and Kara should sit down and talk things out, but Lena was not known for her ability to confront her emotions rationally.

If she was being completely honest with herself, Lena’s reasoning was more than just what she told Kara. Kara was the human equivalent of a golden retriever, sunlight personified, a big heart with easily given love and hope. Her smile could light up a room and just her presence was a calming reassurance for many within National City.

Both as Kara Danvers and Supergirl, she was too good for Lena.

Lena did her best to be good, but she was still stuck in her family’s shadow. She wasn’t just fighting an uphill battle; she was Sisyphus, punished to push a boulder up a hill, only for it to roll back to the bottom. She didn’t want Kara to get crushed under her boulder.

Lena was stuck in thought, only half paying attention to her conversations with investors and board members and other members of high society present at the event. She was pulled aside by Jess, who informed she would need to give her speech soon. Lena excused herself from her conversation, draining the rest of her third glass of champagne before stepping off to the side of the stage, running through her pre planned speech in her head.

At ten o’clock on the dot, Lena stepped up on to the stage and up to the podium. She called for everyone’s attention, the music having been turned down for her. With a smile, Lena rolled in her speech, thanking everyone for attending and for the donations. She transitioned into talking about some of the shelters in National City that would be receiving portions of the donations.

Lena was part way through her explanation of why funding women’s shelters was important when, while scanning the room, her eyes locked with Kara’s. Her voice tripping over a word for a brief moment, but she was able to continue on without any issues. Kara’s face was full of confliction, a mixture of pride and heartbreak. She gave Lena and encouraging smile, and in return Lena gave her a small head nod as she continued with her speech.

Something squeezed around Lena’s heart at the fact that, despite their argument, Kara still cared. It was so like her, that even when someone would do to her what Lena had, Kara would still be on their team. Her stomach dropped out at the realization that she would never be worthy of Kara’s support.

A few minutes later, Lena was thanking everyone again for attending and the funds that had already been donated. The sound of applause filled the room, Lena smiling as she stepped back away from the podium.

That one step, in retrospect, probably saved Lena’s life.

The sound of glass breaking came a split second before a searing pain in her right arm shot through her. Next thing she knew, the arms of a security personnel were wrapped tight around her and pulling her off the stage. Chaos erupted as more bullets were fired off, Lena hearing them hit the wooden podium and ricocheting off the floor.

The hammering of Lena’s heart was calmed ever so slightly at the flash of red and blue above the crowd that caught her eye. The blur disappeared through the now shattered window and vanished onto the rooftop of a nearby building. The security officer dragged Lena into a side room before she could see where Supergirl had disappeared off to, giving her a brief once over. 

Luckily Lena had opted for a sleeveless dress that evening so everything was intact. The bullet had grazed Lena’s arm, just below her shoulder. Some blood trickled down her arm, which the office went to wipe away before Lena stopped him. She knew she’d have to address the situation and she wanted whoever was responsible to see their failure.

Applause coming from the other side of the door cued Lena into the shooter being apprehended. Emerging from the side room, she returned to the podium, seeing Supergirl waving to the adoring crowd with the red and blue lights of NCPD cars behind her. Lena joined the clapping crowd as she caught Kara’s eyes. At the “come here” motion of Lena’s hand, Supergirl entered the building, moving to join Lena up on the stage.

After being given a thumbs up from the tech crew, Lena addressed the crowd.

“Well, it seems that it wouldn’t be a L Corp event without some form of an attempt on my life,” A slight chuckle rose from the crowd, Lena sensing Kara tense up next to her, “Luckily, Supergirl was here again to catch the bad guy and save the day.”

Lena turned towards Kara, watching as her eyes followed the movement of her shoulder before shooting up to meet her eyes. She could tell Kara wanted to whisk her off to the DEO to get her arm looked over, but due to numerous reasons that was not a viable option.

“Thank you, Supergirl, for your continued protection of not just myself, but all citizens of National City. Thank you for being there for women and children in dangerous situations, and for showing them that even a little bit of courage can go a long way.”

Giving Lena and the crowd a big smile, her hands on her hips in Supergirl trademark pose, Kara leaned over and spoke into the microphone, “I’m just here to help. It’s people like all of you who are truly making a difference though, with events like this and continued donations to help support those less fortunate than ourselves.”

“Speaking of donations,” Lena said, commandeering the microphone back, “I do apologize but I will have to cut tonight’s event short. To counteract this, L Corp will keep donations available for the next week, as well plan a volunteering event in the future.”

Gentle clapping rose from the crowd as Lena ended the event. As she turned away from the podium to step off the stage, she saw Kara turn to join her only to be stopped by reporters asking for a quote and photographers asking for a photo.

A medic approached Lena and lead her to a waiting ambulance, a NCPD officer asking her questions as the medic cleaned up the wound. It was shallow and had stopped bleeding, so they medic applies a few butterfly stitches. The medic had finished before the officer’s questions, who paused to allow him to give Lena directions on how to care for her wound. She gently waved him off, with a bored, “This isn’t the first time I’ve been shot,” but thanked him regardless.

A few more minutes later and the officer thanked Lena for her time before leaving her alone. Standing, Lena made a beeline for the hidden spot where she had stashed her jacket and purse. As she weaved her way through the crowd, she was stopped every once in a while by various people, some asking for a quote or pictures, while others talked brief business. Lena allowed a handful of pictures, giving brief quotes that weren’t any more than just a reconfiguration of her closing speech, and said that she’d be back in her office Monday morning and that business could wait two days.

Luckily, no one noticed the tremor in her hands or the shakiness of her smile. The adrenaline had long faded and left anxiety and fear in its wake. After grabbing her purse and jacket, she texted her driver and asked for him to pull around to the backside of the building. Jess and Sam found Lena before she managed to escape, and Lena reassured her assistant and friend that she was fine and was going to go home. At her request to not bother her until Monday, Jess nodded, still with a look of concern on her face. Sam, however refused to leave.

“Lena, you’ve been  _ shot _ \- “

“Don’t be dramatic, Samantha,” Lena interrupted, “It just grazed me. I’ve had worse.”

Sam just crossed her arms, the two of them staring each other down before Sam relented, “Just because you’ve had worse doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about this, but fine. If you’re not going to let me, or anyone else, take care you, then at least promise you’ll text me if something goes wrong.”

Sighing, Lena promised that she’d contact Sam if something happened, eventually also agreeing to brunch with Sam and Ruby on Sunday morning. With a reassuring squeeze of her hand, Lena wished Sam a good night.

Before walking through the backdoor, Lena felt the distinct and familiar feeling of being watched. Knowing who would be there if she turned around, Lena considered not meeting her eyes and just leaving. With a heavy sigh, Lena conceded and glanced over her shoulder. From across the room, Supergirl stood, brow furrowed in worry, nothing but concern on her face. She went to cross the room, but Lena just shook her head, turning away and walking through the door to her waiting driver.

Lena arrived back to her apartment with little fanfare, being dropped off in the underground parking lot to avoid the possibility of any paparazzi out front. She was undisturbed as she rode the elevator up to her penthouse, tossing her jacket and purse onto the armchair as soon as she walked in the door. Lena closed all three bolts on her door before shakily pouring herself three fingers of scotch, downing the glass in one go. 

As she set the glass down on her marble counter top, Lena realized just how tired she felt. Her shoulder slumped, hanging her head as the exhaustion of the week settled into her bones. Lena ran her thumb across the glass, debating about pouring herself another glass before deciding to instead turn in early tonight for a change.

Lena shucked off her dress, taking down her hair, and threw on an old, oversized MIT t shirt and a soft pair of shorts. She plugged her phone in to charge, placing it on her nightstand before crawling into bed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

-

Lena woke with a start, her heart pounding, skin damp with cold sweat as a cry of fear died on her lips. After a few moments of shaky, heavy breathing, Lena screwed her eyes shut, hand covering her mouth to muffle the cry that escaped it.

Once she had calmed down a bit, Lena threw off the covers, deciding that a glass of water would be best. As she stood in her kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water, there was a knock from her balcony door that made her jump, quickly pulling a knife from the knife block on her counter.

Even in the soft light of National City at night, Lena could make out the familiar form of Supergirl. Kara gave her a slight wave, and Lena sighed, putting the knife away. 

Well, she could only run for so long.

Lena crossed the room, unlocking her balcony door and opening it. She hadn’t noticed how tired Kara looked earlier, but that very well could have been a new development over the past few hours

“Hi,” Kara said, quiet and soft in a voice that was very much Kara Danvers and not Supergirl.

“Hi,” Lena parroted, voice rough and tired.

Kara fiddled with her fingers, biting her lip before speaking again, “Are you okay? And not just with everything earlier. I, uh,” a hand fluttered up to push back glasses that weren’t there before falling back down, “I was checking in on you when you woke up. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

When Lena didn’t respond, Kara immediately jumped into a ramble, saying that if Lena wanted her to leave she would but if she wanted someone to talk to Kara would be more than happy to be a set of ears and if she wanted Sam Kara would let her know and - 

Lena reached out, placing a hand on Kara’s, effectively stopping her mid sentence.

“Why don’t you come inside.”

She stepped back, holding the door open for the blonde Kryptonian who stepped in hesitantly. The last time she had been here was their argument. Lena was not in the mood to discuss it, but she trusted Kara to not try to resolve it tonight.

Kara came to a stop in the living room as Lena shut and locked the door again before returning to the kitchen. She asked if Kara wanted anything to drink, nodding when she asked simply for glass of water. Lena grabbed the bottle of her favorite scotch, deciding that if she was going to talk to Kara she may as well have something stronger than water in her glass.

She sat down on the couch, motioning for Kara to do the same as she placed the water on the coffee table. The two women settled in silence for a bit, the only sound penetrating the silence was the sound of them drinking and the muted noises of the city at night.

“It’s been a while, you know,” Lena said with a hollow chuckle, eventually breaking the silence, “Since I’ve had an attempt on my life.” When Kara didn’t comment, Lena took a sip from her scotch before continuing, voice shaky, “I’d hoped -I’d thought that maybe they were finally over. But no, it seems like I still have a target painted on my back.”

It was a topic reminisce of their argument, but Lena opted to not comment with an “I told you so.”

“They became so frequent that I started having nightmares. They were constant enough that I knew I would have them after an attempt. My therapist told me that it was just my brain trying to work through the trauma.”

As Lena took another drink from her glass, she saw Kara go to reach out, to comfort her, only to pull her hand back. The sight made Lena feel like she had a bucket of ice water dumped on her. Instead, Kara spoke up.

“Do you want to talk about the nightmare?”

Lena placed her glass on the table, tucking her feet underneath her, “It’s not just one continuous story. It cuts back and forth, like a fucked up action movie. In one instance I’m falling from my balcony and I can feel the wind whipping past me. In another I’m standing there and suddenly feel the heat and force of an explosion, shrapnel tearing through me. I’m tied to a chair and someone is beating me to a pulp. I’m on a crashing plane and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

Lena lists off event after event, some strikingly similar to real events she’s experienced, her voice growing more and more unsteady and the heat of tears prick at her eyes. She watched as Kara’s grip tightened around her glass, Lena becoming worried that she was going to break it without intending to.

“The one… the one that always gets me is when I’m staring down the barrel of a gun. It’s  a Beretta 92FS Inox. Eventually I can see who’s holding the gun and,” Lena closed her eyes, taking a shuddering breath, “And it’s Lex. It’s  _ always  _ Lex. He laughs, giving me an empty, heartless smile before pulling the trigger,” Lena wipes away a few tears that managed to escape, “I always hear the sound but wake up before I can feel the bullet digging itself into my brain.”

Before she can second guess herself, Kara pulls Lena into a hug. Lena gives in, wrapping her arms around Kara, curling her arms under the crimson cape as Lena buries her face into Kara’s shoulder, her cries muffled by the strong frame of the Kryptonian. 

Several minutes pass until Lena finally pulls herself away from Kara, muttering an apology that Kara just shakes her head at. Lena always feels safer in Kara’s arms, and it was here, with tears on her face, that Lena realized she had really fucked up with Kara. Like, supremely, majorly fucked up. And maybe tonight wasn’t the time to address their relationship, but Lena knew she didn’t want to crawl back into bed alone, knowing that she always slept better with Kara at her side.

“I know that you probably have a thousand better things to do,” Lena starting, brushing her hair away from her face, “And it’s completely alright if you don’t want to but- “

This time when Kara reached out to take Lena’s hand, she didn’t pause, “I can stay as long as you want me to.”

Lena nodded, smiling weakly, “I know we have a lot to talk about, and I’m sorry for running away, but I’d be willing to sit back down and talk about everything with you.”

“But not tonight.”

“But not tonight.”

When the two crawled into Lena’s bed, Kara borrowing some sleep clothes, Kara allowed Lena to curl up into her chest. She was careful not to bump Lena’s injury, gently pressing a kiss to the top of her head as her breathing slowed as sleep consumed her. Kara focused on the soft  _ th-thump _ of Lena’s heart, allowing it to lull her to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> thenameisz.tumblr.com


End file.
